Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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