I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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