He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
