Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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