I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
