My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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