fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
