she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
