If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
