You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
