your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
