i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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