Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
