Plan B is the new Plan A
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
