yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
