The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
