there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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