Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My penis needs a shock collar
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
