erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we made out on top of his cat.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize