seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So much rum. So many feels.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
