we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
