You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
