you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
