i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
