when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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