If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
