I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm at about main and main street
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
