WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
