Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
