3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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