Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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