I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
