Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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