Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
