Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
