She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
