is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
