He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
