I've blown a few things in my day
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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