just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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