Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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