so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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