so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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