But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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