Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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