I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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