Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
