Having a random hookup so left but love u
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
