forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
