Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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