At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We need a shit load of segways right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
