when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
