But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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