sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
