yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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