The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
