I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
