True but thats because hes a fetus.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
