im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
