i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
