I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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