i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
