I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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