I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
