the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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