Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Boobs speak an international language.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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