Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
