i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
